Our twisted minds
by Jpanda92
Summary: Sakura is sent to a teen facility for her 'problems'. Her already messed up life gets turned upside down as she's shown the world for what it truely is, and for what it can be. SS, ET, CY, MOC. T for drugs and sex references.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: this is a disclaimer for the entire story. i do not own Card Captor Sakura or any of its characters.

AN: Ok. hi. just so you all know. the beginning of this story, is not how i write. so yeah. its also my first cardcaptor story. hope you like it and please review.

* * *

Conversation between Patient: Sakura Kinomoto and Doctor: Dr. Frank Symons as documented by official recorder of courtroom number 2D-458, currently under entitlement of S.D. Giles, Silvia Swanke

Dr Symons: I'm going to hold up some pictures and you tell me what you see ok?

Sakura: ….Ok.

Dr. Symons: This one?

Sakura: A blob

Dr. Symons: This one?

Sakura: A bigger blob

Dr. Symons: You're supposed to see a picture within the ink blots, now what do you see in this one?

Sakura: …

Dr. Symons: Well?

Sakura: …A car

Dr. Symons: Good. This one?

Sakura: A tree

Dr. Symons: How about this one?

Sakura: …The car crashing into the tree.

Dr. Symons: Ok…this one?

Sakura: The people inside the car dying.

Dr. Symons: Right. Lets move on. Here's some paper. I'd like you to draw a picture for me.

Sakura: Like what?

Dr. Symons: Anything you want. Just draw it….Done?

Sakura: Yeah.

Dr. Symons: Good. Lets see what you drew….what is it?

Sakura: Well, that's you hanging from the tree. And that's me over there, being run over by a car. And look, the cute little puppy's drowning. I even used sharpie for the blood so it would bleed through to the other side.

Dr. Symons: Wow…you're pretty…talented. I have an idea. Lets play a game. I'll say a word and you say the first word that comes to mind. Ready? Banana

Sakura: Banana

Dr. Symons: Tire

Sakura: Tire

Dr. Symons: Ok, you're supposed to say something else. Not just repeat the word. Blood

Sakura: Rain

Dr. Symons: Fear

Sakura: Fun

Dr. Symons: Fun

Sakura: Gun. Hey doc, I like this game.

Dr. Symons: Uh-huh. Throat

Sakura: Cut

Dr. Symons: Head

Sakura: Shot

Dr. Symons: Pain

Sakura: Great

Dr. Symons: Ok. I think that's enough of that. One last question. Do you…like your life?

Sakura: Oh, Doc. I love it.

Conversation recorded on date of trial for patient's parents, trial 3070-VDS. Condition of patient report filed and subbed below.

Case file report on Condition of patient Sakura Kinomoto by Dr Frank Symons.

Name: Kinomoto, Sakura

Age: Currently 15 years old

Height and weight: 5-4, and 116 lb.

Legal guardians: Fujitaka and Nadeshiko Kinomoto, both currently detained under charges of abuse.

Other immediate family: One (1) brother, Touya Kinomoto, currently overseas attending a university in New York

Condition given: The patient, while not a threat to society, seems to have developed a taste for abuse. This type of trauma is generally brought on from years of witnessing and receiving both physical and mental abuse. Her mind can no longer correctly determine the difference between harmful and not harmful. She has also taken on Sadistic and Masochistic attributes.

Requested Treatment: Since she's still not of legal age and she hasn't shown any outward violence, a treatment center would be the best choice. Brookview Mental Center for Corrupted Teens should be both a good environment and experience for her.

Signed,

Dr. Frank Symons PHD.

Black fingernails tapped against the dark wood of the armchair, tapping out the same rhythm as the black Etnies on the girl's feet. Her light brown hair reached just above her shoulders, brushing against the fabric of her black Red Jumpsuit Apparatus shirt. Faded jeans hung low on her hips as she sat in the cold waiting room. Black lined green eyes stared blankly ahead with loud music ringing in her ears from her ipod.

"Sakura Kinomoto?" The green eyes shifted to the side. A lady with a kind smile on her face stood to her right.

"Yeah?" The woman's eyes visibly widened in surprise at how gentle Sakura sounded. Sakura gave her a small smile before moving to stand.

"The councilor will see you now." Sakura nodded and added a polite thank you before heading to the door. Removing the earphones from her ears, she took the seat in front of the desk. The small metal plaque read 'Mrs. Hansen, minor guidance councilor'. The woman had long dark hair and light brown eyes that were focused on the case file on her desk. The eyes finally looked up at Sakura giving her a sympathetic smile.

"Sakura, how are you?" The file was put in her desk drawer and was replaced by a colorful brochure.

"Fine I guess. What happened to your hand?" Mrs. Hansen turned to look at her hand which was red and agitated looking.

"Oh, I cut it the other day while making diner. Ten stitched if you can believe it." She gave off a short laugh. Sakura moved forward in her chair, resting her forearms on the desk.

"Really? That's too bad. Tell me, did it hurt?" An almost excited smile crept over her face at that last part. Mrs. Hansen backed away from the girl and cleared her throat. Sakura sat back in clear disappointment and folded her arms in front of her.

"Sakura. The judge, with the guidance of your psychiatrist, has decided that it would be in your best interest to attend the Broockview center. Here's a pamphlet on it, go ahead and read it over. Feel free to ask questions." Sakura unfolded the paper and scanned over it. Looking up, she quirked a thin eyebrow at the older woman.

"How do I get there?" Mrs. Hansen looked at her for a second before answering.

"Oh, you live inside the building dear. It's all part of the process. We'll send a car for your things in the morning and you'll be dropped off by four." Sakura looked back at the colorful paper in her lap. _'It can't be that bad. Better than being constantly stared at by freaks who do nothing but whine over me.'_ Sakura nodded, earning a pleased smile from her councilor.

It was dark by the time the teen got home. It was dark, and quiet. Her small footsteps echoed off the walls as she walked to her small bedroom. Sitting on her bed, she looked over to her desk, barely making out the black shapes in the dark of the room. Walking over she picked up a stapler and shifted it so it hung open. Placing it up against her skin, she pushed down on it, sending the cold metal staple deep into the smooth skin of her arm. Biting her bottom lip a small smile formed on her face. She repeated the process over and over, the end result being a roughly written 'Sakura' across her arm. Blood dripped off her and fell onto the carpeted floor. Leaving the stain, she walked over to the mirror to inspect her work. Emerald eyes shifted from the bloody arm, up her small, but curving figure, and to the pleased look on her face. Her eyes stayed on her face, a small tear running down her cheek.

"I guess I really am a masochist." Wiping the tear away, she pulled on a long sleeved jacket and crawled onto her bed. She stayed awake for hours, simply trying to not think of anything, until finally she fell asleep.

People always tell me to look in the mirror. To tell them what I see. I see me. I see me with all my flaws and scars so visible. I wonder if everyone else can see them like I can. I've heard that people judge themselves more harshly than others, so they see problems in themselves that others don't. I wonder if my faults are like that. Or if everyone else can see them just as much as I can. But they have to right? I mean, they're so obvious. So I look into that mirror and I tell them that all I see is me. But they don't believe me, and they force me to keep looking. They force me to keep looking until I cry.

* * *

AN: so? what'd you think? I know it was short and I'm sorry. The next chapter should be coming out soon if you all like it. i also apologize for any misspellings and whatnot. ok. so like i said review. its what makes me happy. and also, incase Sakura's decription wasn't clear, she pretty much looks the same except she's older so obviously more mature looking, she wears eyeliner, and she's a little bit darker looking. 


	2. Chapter 2

AN: wow...a whole two reviews...well. to those two who did review, you guys rock! and dont worry. this story isnt ultra depressing or anything. Well, NEways, heres chapter two. hope you enjoy and please people. please review.

* * *

Sakura's head shot up at the soft sound of knocking coming from down stairs. Ripping out the last few staples, she pulled on the cuff of her sleeve and rushed out of the blood smeared bathroom. Opening the door, she was met by a very tall man with graying hair smiling down at her from beneath his thick mustache. Smiling gently back, she led him to her bags and together they piled them all into the small black car.

Sakura was watching the flat ground beyond the window. They had been driving for a few hours now in silence. But, Sakura didn't mind. She was use to silence. Silence was the only time that guaranteed no pain, and yet it held some of her most painful memories. A shadow fell onto the car as they drove past a large brick wall. Bits of light refracted off of the broken glass that littered the top of the wall, creating a rainbow to come directly through her window. Her small hand reached out to touch it, but it disappeared before she could. She was still looking at where the rainbow used to be when her door opened, telling her that they had stopped.

Climbing out of the car, she was met with a large, lush lawn that stretched up to an even bigger grey building. A big iron gate slid open as she stood staring. The older man walked ahead of her with her things leaving her to follow.

Her steps were slow and carefully planned. They were walking on a curving path that took them right up next to the same wall that she had seen earlier. Her eyes watched the top, waiting for the rainbow to appear again, but it never did. Her hand subconsciously reached up to her injured arm, gripping it tightly and letting the blood drip down and fall off her fingertips as she walked.

The air inside the building was cold, giving Sakura goose bumps. She pulled her pink hoodie tighter around her small body, looking down the white hallway. The man with her set down her things and promptly turned back to the door.

"You can wait here, miss. Some one should be coming along soon to show you around," Nodding his head he gave a quick farewell and disappeared into the blinding light outside. Only once he was gone did Sakura realize that she had never gotten his name in the hours they had spent together.

Footsteps echoed down the hallway as a man walked up to her. He had light brown hair and brown eyes, his figure easily towering over Sakura.

"Hi. I'm Tareda. You must be Sakura." He extended his right hand for her to shake, but she didn't move to take it. If she did, then he would see the blood stain on her sleeve, and she didn't want that. Pulling his hand back, he gave her a small smile and reached into his pocket. "I know you might be a little old for this, but I'd like to give you a little welcoming present." In his hand he held a small yellow stuffed animal with big ears, small white wings, and a long tail.

Sakura hesitantly reached for it, feeling its soft fabric in her hands. She smiled up at the man, her eyes shining. "Thank you."

She followed the smiling man around the large building, taking in all the different rooms and people. Her eyes lingered mostly on the people. They would stop in rooms and Tareda would explain what the room had and what it was used for, but she would just watch the people. All the kids looked different, not like at her old school. Everyone there looked exactly the same. Here, everyone stuck out so obviously from one another that it was a little comforting.

The counselors and teachers are the ones she watched the most though. Most seemed nice enough, but there were also a few who seemed ready to snap.

"It must be hard." Her voice was soft and she wasn't looking at him, but across the room. She was a little surprised when he answered.

"What must be hard?" He titled his head to her, waving at a few passing students.

"Nothing. I was just talking to myself." She looked down at her feet, subconsciously hugging the small yellow plushie to her chest. Nodding, he continued the tour eventually ending at the dormitory.

"And this, will be your room." Sakura walked into a nicely decorated room with two beds. All of her things had already been brought in and placed on the right side of the room. "Your roommate is probably at dinner at the moment. Would you like to get some dinner or just stay here?"

"I think I'll stay here for now. I had a big lunch." That was a lie; she hadn't eaten anything all day. She gave him a cute smile and tilted her head to the side a little. "Thank you, Tareda-sensei, for showing me around. It was very kind of you."

"It was a pleasure being with you Sakura. If you need help with anything, my office is near the community room. If you don't remember where that is I'm sure your roommate would gladly show you." With that, he left, giving her one last parting smile.

Sakura turned to look at the room. It wasn't what she was expecting, that was for sure. She had imagined some square white room with a metal bed and barred windows. This, on the other hand, was nice. It was carpeted and painted a soft green. Walking over to her bags, she pulled out her pink comforter. She threw it lightly over the bed and continued to dig threw her things. Coming to a certain point in her pile she stopped. Shifting a few things around she looked again.

"So they did go through my things. I thought they would." Sakura had placed a knife inside her bag as a test to see if they would go through her things. Obviously, they had. She had only put it in for that reason, she didn't like to use knives to cut herself. She preferred less conventional ways, like using house hold items. The closest she had ever come to using a knife is that time she was stabbed with a fork, but then again, she wasn't the one who did it.

Sitting on the bed, the subtle light from the moon poured into the room. Such a contrast from the bright day it had been when she arrived. Sighing, she looked down at the yellow plushie in her hands.

"What are you? A bear? A mouse? Hmmm….well, whatever you are, I'll call you Kero." Sakura gently set him on the bed, propping him up against her pillow. Walking to her bag, she pulled out her bag filled with makeup and hair products. She took them into the bathroom and put them in an empty drawer. Reaching to the bottom, she pulled out her straightener and plugged it in. She set it on full heat and sat on top of the counter, waiting for it to heat up. After a few minutes she splashed some water on it and watched it sizzle away. Pulling up her sleeve, she saw the red, puffed up skin spelling out her name. Lifting the straightener to her wrist, it hovered over the letter 'A' at the end of her name. Without hesitation she clamped it down, her eyes widening as it burned her both inside and out. Not wanting permanent damage, she pulled it off and instantly noticed the slightly black-brown mark on her arm.

Unplugging the straightener, she calmly put it away and looked back at her arm. It was beginning to swell and she didn't want to have to go to the doctor to have to get medication for it. Flipping the handle she turned on the faucet and let the cold water flow over it. Drying off her arm, she rolled her sleeve down over it and crawled into her bed. Closing her eyes she was determined to sleep the night through. She knew that if she woke up in the middle of the night it would only disturb her roommate.

Sometimes I just want to close my eyes and wish I was somewhere else. Somewhere that only I knew how to get to. Somewhere magical. I imagine it to be perfect. Everything is exactly how everything should be. Nothing could possibly go wrong in that world. But, when I finally get there, I find myself wishing the same thing. Sure it's perfect here. Everything is as everything should be. Yet I find myself wishing I were somewhere else. Somewhere that happened to look a lot like where I was before.

* * *

AN: Ok. that was it. sorry for the shortness. And again. Review! it makes chapters come faster.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: thanks for all the good reviews. I'm glad you liked it. And I'm with you on the stapling myself and stuff. I'd be way to scared to do it. I did it once on accident and it was not fun. I really enjoy writing this story. Most of the ones I read don't really focus on this kind of stuff so I thought it would be a good idea. But I have to admit, I'm not normally a very drepressing person so writing it is hard which is why it takes a while for me to get the chapters out.

SakuraKxSyaoranL: I love your review. I've never gotten one that long before and it makes me happy. So, thank you. And I was worried that the format of chapter one would turn people away, but I was just hoping they'd read until the end and see that it's not all like that, like you said.

* * *

Emerald eyes blinked open. Subtle light streamed through the closed window, flittering lightly across her face. She had barely managed to sit up before something heavy slammed into her sending her toppling back onto the bed.

"Oh! You are just too cute! I was worried that I was going to get some weird creepy roommate and have to put up with her depressing emo-ness. But look at you. You're so adorable!" The strange girl currently on top of her proceeded to pinch her cheeks and hug her much to her bewilderment.

"Umm…excuse me, but who are you?" Sakura backed up a little as the girl stopped what she was doing to look into her face. A soft smile took over her features as she hurriedly jumped off the bed and stood before it.

"I'm so sorry. Where are my manners? My name is Tomoyo. I'm your roommate." Her amethyst eyes looked down at Sakura with warmth and excitement. Sakura took Tomoyo's outstretched hand into her own, giving in return her own welcoming smile.

"It's very nice to meet you Tomoyo, my name is Sakura." Again she was hugged by the girl, feeling the air escape her lungs.

"You are just so cute!" Letting her go, Sakura gulped in some much appreciated air before giving her a weary smile.

"Umm…thanks." Sakura looked away with a small smile. Tomoyo only thought she was that much cuter when she acted shy, but refrained herself from hugging her again. She didn't want to scare her away after all. A few moments passed in silence as Sakura stared down at her sheets and Tomoyo continued to watch her. The silence was broken, however, when Sakura's stomach gave off a loud growl.

Giggling slightly at the blushing Sakura, Tomoyo flipped her long ebony hair over her shoulder. "Care to accompany me to breakfast, Sakura?" Nodding slightly, both girls began to get dressed.

Tomoyo and Sakura were walking down the many hallways on their way to the cafeteria. Both wearing bright smiles and talking endlessly.

"So you design clothes?" Sakura's innocent emerald eyes looked at the other girl out of the corner of her eyes.

"Yup. I've been doing it for about three years now. It keeps my mind off things." She coolly replied, waving to a girl as they passed.

"That's so cool Tomoyo. You're really amazing." Tomoyo looked over and gave her a warm smile.

"Thank you Sakura. Do you have any hobbies?" Sakura looked up in thought. After a moment, she sadly shook her head.

"Nope. Not really. I use to write, but not so much anymore." They had finally reached the cafeteria and Tomoyo pushed open the doors.

"Really? How come?" But her question was never answered as Sakura suddenly tensed. Tomoyo took a few more steps before realizing Sakura had stopped. "Something wrong?" Sakura could see the concern on her face.

"Umm...no." Shrugging, Tomoyo pulled Sakura through the crowded room to the lunch line. Green eyes scanned over the mass of people surrounding her. Their ages varied, as did their looks. Her eyes quickly flickered to her wrist, making sure the sleeve was properly covering her arm. They had just reached the counter and grabbed their trays when a loud voice rang through the room.

"HEY! GIVE IT BACK!" A small smirk stretched over Tomoyo's face while Sakura looked around in confusion. Everyone had seemed to stop and stare toward the end of the line. A girl with long black hair pulled into two pigtails and sharp red eyes stood there, glaring fiercely at the older woman in front of her.

"Meilin, I told you, you can only have one soda per meal." She seemed frustrated with the teen before her.

"Ah come on! What does it freakin' matter?" her glare turned to an angry pout as her voice died down. On her tray were eggs, bacon, and two sodas.

"It just does. Now put it back." The girl clearly heard the warning in her woman's voice and put one of the cans back, murmuring a few colorful words under her breath.

"Whatever." And with that she walked off into the crowd and out of Sakura's view. The people around her began to move again, pushing her along. Deciding it best not to ask, Sakura quickly moved down the line, filling her tray.

Tomoyo lead her over to a table near the back of the room. Upon arrival, she noticed the girl from earlier sitting there with another girl. Ruby eyes turned as they approached and looked Sakura up and down.

"Hi guys. Sakura, this is Meilin and Chiharu." Tomoyo gestured to the two girls. Meilin looked her over one more time before breaking into a smile. It wasn't necessarily an inviting smile, but Sakura took comfort in it none the less. The other girl, Chiharu, wore her light brown hair in braids on the sides of her head. Her kind brown eyes shined as she smiled and waved.

"Hi. I'm Sakura, Tomoyo's new roommate. It's a pleasure to meet you." Both girls nodded as she and Tomoyo took their seats. Meilin emptied the last of her soda from her can before throwing in the general direction of the trash.

"So, Saku, what do you think of this wonderful little place so far?" Sakura gave a soft smile at the nickname, it was the first she had ever had, except from her brother.

"Well, I haven't seen much of it, but I was able to see a few classes yesterday. From what I saw, it's a nice place, although the teachers all look like they…how should I say it… have something stuck up their ass and are unable to get it out." Her voice was soft and innocent, greatly contrasting her words. Tomoyo and Chiharu simply raised an eyebrow at what she said. Meilin, however, replaced her judging look and broke into a large grin.

"Well, Sakura, I like you. You've got the weirdest attitude I've seen in a long time, but that's what makes you interesting. I think getting to know you is going to be very entertaining." Her grin turned to a smirk as she cracked open her second soda, balancing on the back legs of her chair. Sakura eyed the can but figured it better not to ask.

"See Saku? If Meilin likes you then you'll have no troubles fitting in here." Tomoyo pointed out in a matter of fact way.

"So, Sakura, where are you from?" Chiharu leaned forward, eager for the answer. Sakura could already tell that she was more boisterous and outgoing than her looks perceived.

"I'm from a town called Tomoeda. It's only a couple of hours from here, but it's a nice small town. It's really pretty when the Sakura blossoms come." Her emerald eyes seemed to dance at the memory.

"Sounds nice. I grew up in the city, not many trees there." Chiharu sighed.

"That sounds beautiful Sakura. I myself grew up in a small town also." Commented Tomoyo.

"Oh please. You might have grown up in a small town, but you lived in a mansion." A small smirk appeared on Meilin's face while Tomoyo's smile turned to a pout.

"I wouldn't be talking if I were you. If I remember correctly your parents were some of the richest people in Hong Kong." Tomoyo jeered.

"Hong Kong?" Sakura directed her question to Meilin.

"Yup. That's where I was born. They only sent me to Japan because of this place." She replied with a bright smile.

"Wow. You came here all by yourself? You're really brave Meilin." Her comment surprised the red-eyed girl a little.

"Thanks…but it's not that far. I took a plane so it probably took less time for me to get here than you." For once it seemed as though the energy and vigor that emanated from her had dissipated leaving a sweet and shy girl. Chiharu and Tomoyo noticed this and seemed impressed with Sakura's impact.

Meilin threw her empty can at the nearby trash and missed, breaking the silence. She again, picked up another and opened it. Sakura opened her mouth to say something when a peaceful chime sounded through out the room. Almost immediately the people around her began to disperse.

"Come on Sakura. It's time for class to begin. I'll show you where to go." Not even giving her time to respond, Tomoyo took hold of her wrist and dragged her out, waving cheerily to the other two.

"Thanks Tomoyo, but I know where to go." Sakura had to jog to keep up with Tomoyo's brisk walk.

"You sure?" She asked. She didn't want her to get lost in the building.

"Yes, I'm sure. I don't want to be of any inconvenience to you." Her green eyes connected with Tomoyo's dark ones before giving a small smile as she walked in the direction of her class.

"But you're not…" The black haired girl whispered as she watched the other girl walk away.

Sakura had been staring out the window for a good portion of the morning. The things they were taught were things she had learned years ago. The teacher was dull, the class was boring, and the students…well, they were strangely void. No one spoke much and as far as she could tell, no one did much of anything.

Her face slowly turned forward. The teacher had finished giving the lesson and was reading to the class. Sighing, Sakura was glad she only had one class left. Because of the 'mental conditions' of the students, each class was only about half an hour long, but it still seemed like forever. And technically, they only had three classes a day. Each hour period was cut in half as to not put too much stress on one subject at a time. So today, Sakura had to endure two separate math classes, with two different teachers.

Finally, the soft ringing of the bell sounded and the teacher got up to leave. Another thing that Sakura found, if not convenient, then weird was that the teachers moved and the students didn't. Of course, as she had noticed during the day, a few of the more stable students were allowed to move from one class to another and join that class.

An example of said stable student was the boy who had just entered. Her eyes trailed him as he took a seat a few chairs down from her. His head, which had been facing forward, slowly turned in her direction. His eyes met hers and he gave a friendly wave.

Sakura waved back but couldn't help but think that almost chestier smile on his face seemed a bit, cold.

Not bothering to pay attention, the girl again stared blankly out the window. The incessant droning of the teacher began to fade. She let herself close off from the world around her and allowed her mind to drift off to a more peaceful place.

Sakura lazily lifted her head off of the table. Looking up, she was met with stunning midnight blue eyes. Jumping back in surprise, Sakura recognized the boy from earlier.

"I'm sorry if I scared you." The boy leaned back on the desk he had been sitting on. His navy blue hair fell over his face, shadowing the deep blue of his eyes. The thin framed glasses and tall lean stature gave him the look that most girls at her old school fawned over.

"No that's ok, umm…" Sakura gestured emptily with her hand, not knowing the boys name.

"Eriol. Eriol Hiiragizawa." His smile was still there, still curved up, but still somehow unhappy.

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Hiiragizawa-kun. I'm Kinomoto Sakura. Just call me Sakura." She offered her hand and he gladly took it. But, instead of shaking it, he brought it to his lips and gently kissed the back.

Sakura would have blushed if it had not been for the way he was looking at her. She had seen this scene in movies many times. Each time, when the guy looked up, he'd either have a passionate, polite, or seductive look on his face. But Eriol, his was the same as before, never wavering.

"Then I request that you call me Eriol." He released her hand and picked up his bag from the table beside hers. Her eyes drifted from him to the empty classroom.

"Umm...Eriol, where is everyone?" He stopped his actions and looked around the room.

"Well, it would appear that they all left." Emerald eyes rolled as she sent a glare to the dark haired boy.

"Yes, I can see that. But where did they go?"

"That, Sakura, I would not know. All I know is that when class ended, they left." He strode back over to her, his tall figure casting a small shadow over her.

"How long ago was that?" Taking a glance at his watch, Eriol was quick to answer.

"About three and a half hours ago." His voice was calm and almost monotone as he spoke.

"Three and a half hours?! I slept that long? Why didn't you wake me up?" Sakura gave the boy an accusing look as she stood and gathered her things.

"You were sleeping so peacefully. I didn't want to wake you." Swinging her bag over her shoulder she looked out the window again, noticing the almost setting sun. Her stomach gave off a low rumbling from having missed lunch.

"Well, why are you still here?" The boy in question paused for a second, as though considering his answer.

"I wanted to ask you if you'd have lunch with me." A small smile spread over Sakura's face.

"Well, I'm thinking that lunch is over, but I'd be happy to have dinner with you." With a nod of agreement, both walked out of the room and toward the cafeteria.

Sakura's point of view

We had finished eating a while ago, and we were now walking through the building, just talking. Our subjects were jumping from one thing to another, but I didn't mind. At least if he was here, I wasn't alone. It seemed as though whenever I was alone, I would do things I'm not suppose to.

"Eriol, these sketches are amazing. They look so life like." He had shown me his sketch book. It really was amazing. Everything in it held such detail and warmth that I had to wonder how this boy who always seemed so distant could possibly capture it.

"Thank you Sakura, I appreciate your praise." But he didn't look like he appreciated it. He never looked like…anything.

My eyes wondered back to the pages of the book, turning them one at a time. One picture near the back caught my eye. It was of a younger boy with spiky black hair. His smile stretched from one side of his face to the other as he clung to, what she assumed to be, a younger Eriol, who had the same bubbling smile on his face. But this smile, unlike the one he had now, was genuine. You could see the happiness he felt and it radiated off the page.

"Who are these two?" He looked over my shoulder and down at the page.

"That's me and my brother five years ago." I glanced back at the page and then to his face. There was such a difference in it, I just didn't get it.

"Your brother? Where is he now?" I stopped as we reached my room and handed him back his book.

"He's dead." The same smile stayed on his face. But this time, it sent a chill up my spine. What kind of person can keep that smile on their face, unwavering, while talking about their dead brother? It just felt so cold and alone. _'I wonder if he feels all alone too.'_

Before I could respond, the door behind me flew open to show a flustered Tomoyo. As soon as her amethyst eyes settled on me, I was embraced in a hug with her yelling about how she looked everywhere for me.

"Saku! Oh my god! Where were you?" Tomoyo held me at arms length, searching my face. She had been worried about me. Eriol's deep voice caught her attention and she turned to look at him.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault. I'm the one who kept Sakura busy this whole time." Tomoyo visibly blushed and turned her attention to the floor. "Well, I'd best be going now. Goodnight, Sakura." With that he turned and left, leaving the hall in an eerie silence.

Tomoyo dragged me inside the room and set me on the bed. She still seemed a little off, but her cheerful demure was back.

"Saku, I told Meilin that after you came back, we'd go over to her and Chiharu's room. Wanna go?" She seemed so happy I couldn't tell her no. I nodded in agreement earning myself a hug from her. Leaping off the bed she went into the bathroom to get ready.

She came out a few minutes later, looking as preppy as ever. "Ready to go?" She bounced happily over to the door.

"I need to change and stuff. You go ahead ok?" She nodded, and walked out, yelling their room number over her shoulder. Her absence was like a trigger to my mind. I was all alone, and I already said what I do when that happens. My eyes traveled from a glass of water on the window sill to Tomoyo's sewing kit.

It was dark now, the only light coming from the open bathroom door. I sat down on the carpeted floor in front of the sewing kit. Not taking a moment to even let myself think, I opened the container and withdrew the small box of needles.

Normal point of view

Working carefully, Sakura pulled the sleeve of her shirt up her arm. The marks from the staples were beginning to fade, but the burn was still prominent. Gliding one smooth finger down her scared skin, she pulled a thin needle out from its red case.

Lifting her arm up, she let it fall heavily on her arm, the needle diving into her. Taking it out, she drove it into her again and again until she had a thin line going from the top of her arm to her elbow. Blood dripped onto her jeans, staining them. Getting up, she made her way over to the glass on the windowsill. Fishing out the lemon with her fingers, she held it up to her face for a moment.

No emotion masked her face as she lowered the lemon to her arm and pushed it against the skin. The sour juices ran down her arm and pooled inside the fresh cut. A burning and searing sensation rippled through her body as a cold and cynical smile crept over her face. The blood only poured faster out of her as she added more juice to it.

Shaking slightly from exhilaration, she bandaged her arm with a thin gauze and changed out of her now stained clothes. Taking a final look in the full length mirror in the closet, she set on her smiling face and left through the door, the soft clicking sound resounding behind her.

People always have something to hide. That's why they lie or cheat or sometimes even run away. I understand that. Even I have secrets. I choose to believe them, all the lies. But, what I don't understand is when they don't say anything. I can always tell when someone is upset or hurt and angry. But, I wonder if I'm the only one. Can no one else tell, or are they simply doing exactly what I'm doing? Are they just pretending not to notice? Somehow, the eyes always betray their owner. They tell secrets they always swore to keep. Can they understand their subtle words, while I can't? Can they tell if their silently thanking or suppressing their hatred? If their crying or screaming? It scares me to think that a single thing can be so expressive. But what scares me even more, are what stories my eyes are telling.

* * *

AN: and that's it. That one was longer and had more character interaction so it was harder to write. It didn't turn out the way i wanted but it's still pretty good. Hopefully the next chapter will be coming out soon. 


	4. Chapter 4

AN: OK. next chapter is out. this should answer some questions. and sorry, but there's not much Shaoran in this one either. But, don't worry, he's coming.

* * *

Sakura's hand supported her head as she gazed lazily to the front of the classroom. The first segment of English class was almost over. They had just been assigned a book to read. Peter Pan. Sakura had already read the book for her old school and she found it a little ironic that they were reading it considering how the author sounded like they were on a constant high.

The teacher gave a light bell as he exited the classroom. Sighing a little, Sakura looked over at her classmates. Two girls were already in the back of the classroom, chatting up a few boys. Watching as they each sat on the desks and smiled suggestively, Sakura thought back to that morning.

Flashback

"Kura-chan! It's time to get up! Rise and shine sleepyhead!" Tomoyo threw the covers off the still half a sleep brunette before bouncing on the bed beside her. "Come on, get up."

"Tomoyo, what time is it?" Sakura propped herself up on her elbows as she gazed around the room looking for a clock.

Taking out her hello kitty cell phone, Tomoyo flipped it open. "It's…5:30." Silence took over as Sakura continued to stare up at the girl next to her.

"Umm, Tomoyo, why did you wake me up so early?" A slender finger was lifted to the raven haired girls chin in thought.

"Well, the best food is served first. So get dressed." Sakura was about to mutter an excuse when she was forcefully pulled out of her bed and shoved in the direction of the closet. "Here, Sakura-chan, wear this."

Tomoyo skipped off to the bathroom leaving Sakura to get dressed. Looking at the clothes in her arms she let out a small sigh. Everything was so, pink. Sure, Sakura had worn pink as a kid, but now her style revolved mainly around dark colors like blacks and purples.

Shrugging her shoulders indifferently Sakura hurriedly pulled the clothes on. Quickly adding a long sleeved black undershirt to hide the scars, Sakura took one final look in the mirror. She had to admit, she looked cute.

"You look adorable Kura-chan. Ready to go?" With a nod, she and Tomoyo left the room on their way to breakfast.

Meilin and Chiharu weren't here yet. In fact, it seemed as though no one was here yet. The large cafeteria was practically empty as they took their seats. A small yawn escaped her as she looked over at Tomoyo who was still talking about how great the food was if you were early.

"Oh, Kura-chan, I'll be right back." Tomoyo got up and ran over to the doors. Two girls had just walked in carrying their food. They were both the same height and wearing different styles of the same clothes. One had short straight brown hair and big brown eyes hidden behind her glasses. The other had short brown hair that curled around her face, making her doe-like brown eyes the focus of her face.

Tomoyo brought them over and they sat beside each other, both smiling the same smile.

"Kura, these are the Takeuchi sisters, Naoko" she motioned to the girl with glasses. "And Rika." Her hand moving to the girl beside her. "Naoko, Rika, this is Sakura. She's new here."

"Oh. That would explain why we've never seen you before." Rika leaned in with a devilish grin, her fingers lacing together under her chin.

"There's one thing that we need to know about you." Naoko mimicked her sister's actions, her eyes focusing intently on the auburn haired girl across from her. "So tell us,"

"Are you a virgin?" Both chorused, leaning in even further. Sakura fell out of her chair in attempt to back away and landed on the ground.

"W-w-what?" She stuttered, looking around confused. She pulled herself back up into her chair and looked at their expectant faces.

"Are you a virgin?" Naoko repeated, speaking to Sakura like it was a common topic.

"I…umm…don't think that's…umm, really any of your business." She turned her head away, a blush rising to her cheeks.

Rika leaned in and inspected her face, earning an even darker blush. Sighing, she leaned back and turned to her sister. "Yup, definitely a virgin. Too bad."

"H-how did you know?" Sakura sputtered trying to keep quiet.

"It's obvious. You've got" Rika started, poking her forehead with her finger.

"The virgin blush." Finished Naoko, grinning suggestively at her.

"Girls, leave poor Saku alone. It's her second day here and you're already asking her that. You two never change, do you?" Tomoyo sighed as she shooed them away from her, giving them a stern look.

Pouting from being pulled away from their source of fun, both girls shrugged as they ate their food. "We don't know what you're talking about. We've changed a lot. A few years ago, we wouldn't have bothered to even ask. We would have just checked for ourselves." Rika stated. Naoko merely nodded in agreement with her sister.

Sakura didn't want to know how they would have checked so instead turned to her own food. The girls talked for a little while, as more people began to fill the room. As it turns out, Naoko and Rika are two boy crazy twins who seem to not know the meaning of personal space. Or, at least, that's what Sakura concluded.

"Oh, look. Hotties at six o'clock." Rika pointed to the doors. A group of boys walked through, all talking as they casually approached a table. Rika waved to a few who nodded in return.

"You know them?" Sakura asked, scanning over their faces.

"Oh, you could say we know them." Rika said slyly, smiling in a knowing way.

"I would definitely say we know them." Naoko added, smirking.

Tomoyo gave the two a look that read clearly said 'not in front of the new girl, god.' While Sakura just remained confused. Her eyes landed on a boy with dark navy hair and glasses, as he walked up to the group. He looked up and waved, smiling as always.

"Sakura, do you know him?" Rika asked, raising a brow at her new friend.

"Yeah. That's Eriol. I have a class with him." She answered waving back. Tomoyo blushed at seeing him while the twins gave her a knowing look.

"Oh, we know who he is. He's quite well known around here, if you know what I mean." They both said, their voices synchronizing.

"No, not really." Sakura answered, not sure what they were getting at.

"Duh, Saku, he's a class 'A' hottie. Him and that Shaoran. Those two are practically inseparable and that's fine by my eyes." Naoko sighed as she thought about them.

"Shaoran?" Sakura asked.

"Oh, that's right. He's not here right now." Naoko looked at her sister, pouting a little at the loss of eye candy. "Where'd he go again?"

"Hmm…I think he went to visit his parents. He should be coming back soon." Rika replied, trying to comfort her twin.

"Hey, Naoko, Rika, come eat with us." A boy walked over to the table, smiling down at the two. He motioned for them to follow as he wove his way back through the crowd.

"Sorry girls, duties call. Till next time, Tomoyo, Saku." They both blew kisses over their shoulders as they walked over to the other table.

"Are they always like that?" Sakura asked, facing Tomoyo.

She took a moment to think before answering. "No. They were actually pretty calm today."

End flashback.

"They're weird." Sakura muttered to herself.

"Who's weird?" Sakura jumped a little hearing someone behind her. Turning, she was met once again by Eriol.

"Oh, Eriol. You scared me." Sakura smiled up at the boy, happy to see him. "And no one. Just talking to myself."

"Right. Mind if I sit next to you today?" Sakura looked at the empty desk beside hers. She hadn't even noticed it before.

"Sure. Go ahead." Eriol sat down and took out his things, the lens of his glasses reflecting the light coming through the window. A boy came up and started to talk to Eriol, leaving Sakura to herself. Her gaze turned to the book, Peter Pan, still sitting on her desk. Flipping through the pages, she began to wonder what it would be like to be in neverland. To never have to grow up, would it be so great? Maybe not. But maybe, if you were like Wendy, and only went for a short amount of time, it would.

"Sakura?" Sakura snapped out of her thoughts and looked over at her smiling friend. "Class is going to start soon."

"Oh. Right." Placing her book back into her bag, Sakura sat back up and turned to Eriol. "Eriol? Do you believe in fairy tales?"

His head turned in her direction, his dark hair falling nicely over his face. His eyes seemed to shine and his smile only grew bigger. "No, Sakura. Fairy Tales are just stories parents tell their children to give them false hope. They're just lies designed to fool people. There is no such thing as a fairy godmother, or pixies, or fairies. There is no such thing as happily ever after." His voice remained calm as he spoke, his smile permanent.

"Oh. Yeah, I guess you're right." The bell chimed and Eriol turned to the front. Sakura too looked ahead, thinking about what he had said. His words made her sad. Sure she hadn't actually believed that some magical being would show up and make her life better, but saying it like he did, just made the world seem so much less worth living in. And Sakura already had very little reason to.

The teacher walked into the room and began to write one the board. "Ok class, as you can see, this is the second segment of your English class. Today, we'll be writing poems. I want you each to-" the middle aged man was cut off as the door open.

A boy with unruly brown hair and fierce amber eyes strode smoothly into the room. His build was a lot like Eriols, tall and lean, but was more defined. A hand ran through his thick locks as he walked up to the teacher and handed him a note.

"Ah, Mr. Li. Good to have you back. If you'd please take a seat, I'm just explaining the assignment." The boy merely nodded before taking a seat in the back of the room.

"That, is Shaoran Li. We told you he was yummy." Naoko and Rika whispered into her ears. They had moved seats during the break and were now sitting behind her.

"Right, so like I was saying, you'll each write a poem and, if you feel up to it, at the end of class we'll read some out loud." The class responded by taking out paper. The teacher, not seeming to really care if they did the assignment or not, stepped out of the room.

"Hey, Saku, wanna go talk to Shaoran with us?" Rika asked, leaning onto her desk.

"Uh, no thanks. You guys go ahead." Shaking their heads disapprovingly, the sisters moved off to join the crowd already forming around the boy.

"Eriol, aren't you going to go talk to him? I heard you guys are pretty good friends."

Sakura pointed out nicely, leaning in a little to see his face.

Looking up, Eriol smiled at her. "No, I'll just talk to him later. Hey, Sakura, what are you going to write your poem on?" Sakura looked up at the directions written on the board.

"Well, it says to write about your past experiences so I guess that." With that, both set to work on their writing.

The teacher walked back into the room and took a seat at his desk. They had two minutes until class was over and Sakura had just started her poem. "Ok, class. Since we don't have much time left and I'm sure not many of you even bothered to do the work, let's just have it due tomorrow ok? Remember, tomorrow is B block schedule which means same classes as today. You're all dismissed." The bell chimed as people began to stand. Rika and Naoko were already talking to another group of boys and it seemed like Shaoran had already disappeared.

"Sakura, would you like to have lunch with me?" Eriol asked, gazing down at her as he stood.

"Sorry, I can't today. I promised Tomoyo I would eat with them later." Eriol nodded in understanding before leaving the room. Sighing, Sakura stood and left, fingering the edge of her sleeve.

Sakura entered her room and stopped. Her eyes widened at seeing the mess. Everything was thrown onto different spots on the floor and it seemed like the only thing that hadn't been disturbed was her own bed. Her eyes traveled along the mess and landed on Tomoyo.

"Tomoyo, what happened?" Sakura asked, trying to walk through the mess to her friend. Tomoyo twisted around to look at Sakura. Her hair was a little messed up and something about smile just didn't seem right to the brunette.

"Oh, nothing Saku. Just…looking for something." Her voice trembled a little as she spoke, her eyes darting away and back to the area she was searching.

"Oh, well, I'll help. What are you looking for?" Sakura bent down to shift through a pile of clothes but was stopped.

"NO!" Tomoyo shrieked. Sakura gave her a puzzling look before standing back up. "I mean, it's ok. We, uh, have to get going anyway right? Lets just…lets just go." Sakura only nodded as they walked to the door.

Lunch passed by and Tomoyo seemed to be acting normal again. Sakura would have thought that her strange behavior was all in her mind if their room wasn't proof that it was real.

"So, Moyo, tell us." Rika stated, leaning back in her chair.

"You've got a thing for Eriol don't you?" Finished Naoko. Both smirked at seeing the girl nearly choke on her drink as they asked.

"W-why would you say that? I barely even know him." Tomoyo protested. Her hand ran through her hair as she laughed nervously to herself.

"Yeah, well, you don't have to know him to do him." Both twins announced, sounding as though it was obvious.

"Shut up you two. I swear, there is something seriously wrong with you." Meilin spat, glaring at them a little. They merely gave her the duh look while Tomoyo mouthed a thank you.

"Well, we could ask Sakura what he's like. She seems to be spending a lot of time with him." Chiharu piped up, taking a drink of her water. The twins seemed to get a gleam in their eyes as they turned to her.

"Is that so? And how, if we may ask, do you know this, Chiharu?" Rika asked, leaning on Naoko to get closer to the other girl.

"Well," Chiharu put her finger in the air and smiled. "Takashi told me so." The twins seemed a bit disappointed and turned back to the others.

"And you believed that liar?" They both sounded disappointed as they shook their heads and sighed.

"Don't worry, I can tell when he's lying. Besides, it's true, right Sakura?" Chiharu tilted her head innocently in her direction.

"Well, I wouldn't call it a lot of time. I just met him yesterday." Sakura looked down at her food, trying to hide the small blush.

"And you already had dinner with him." Chiharu mentioned, still smiling innocently. The rest of the next hour was spent with the twins tackling her for information with Chiharu kindly pointing things out every once in a while. Tomoyo still seemed a little out of it, but besides that fine as she opted to talk to Meilin than join in with the interrogation.

Sakura, Tomoyo, and Meilin were walking down the hallway to the dorms. Chiharu, Naoko, and Rika all had somewhere else to go so the three had decided to just hang out in Meilin's room.

"Kura, I wasn't able to ask you earlier. How did you like your second day of classes?" Tomoyo asked, her usual cheeriness seemed to be coming back.

"Oh, it was ok. We got a book today, Peter Pan." Tomoyo's eyes lit up hearing that.

"Really? I love that story. My parents use to tell it to me all the time when I was little. That was one of my favorites. I always felt bad for peter though." She answered, her hands held together behind her back as they walked.

"How come?" Meilin asked, looking over at her.

"Well because, he was always left behind." Her amethyst eyes were cast to the floor as she spoke, her voice soft. Looking up again she put a smile on and looked at Sakura. "But still, I love that story. That and Cinderella, those are my fav-" Tomoyo suddenly stopped.

Her body shook violently as she fell onto her knees, her hands grasping her head. "Tomoyo? Tomoyo what's wrong?" Sakura knelt down beside her and looked into her face. Tomoyo's eyes were bloodshot, and her pupils were only tiny black pin pricks in her eyes.

Her breath came out in sharp gasps as she fell forward and wretched onto the floor. Meilin ran over to her and laid her down on her side, checking her pulse. Cursing under her breath she looked at Tomoyo as she again threw up onto the floor.

"Meilin, what's wrong with her?" Sakura asked, feeling like none of it was real. It couldn't be real, Tomoyo had been fine a few seconds ago. And now, now it looked like she was dying.

"She's going into convulsions. Sakura, you stay here. I have to go get the nurse. Just don't let her lay on her back and make sure she keeps breathing." With that, Meilin ran off leaving them alone in the darkening hallway.

Tears ran down Sakura's cheeks as she watched Tomoyo's body shake and her eyes dart around, not really seeing anything. She looked like she was in so much pain. She was in pain, and Sakura was enjoying it. A smile broke onto her face as she looked down as her friend.

Again, Tomoyo threw up, this time a little blood mixed in with it. A small laugh escaped her as she watched, her breathing increasing from the excitement. The girl in front of her was so frail looking, so weak, in so much pain, and it was so much fun watching.

"Poor Moyo, in so much pain." Her smile grew wider as Tomoyo flinched at her touch. Tears ran harder out of her emerald eyes as she drew back. "What's wrong with me? This is my friend we're talking about. I shouldn't be happy. I'm so sorry, Moyo."

Meilin came running around the corner, a few people in white coats following behind her. They pulled her onto a table and ran away, leaving Sakura and Meilin in the hallway.

"What was all that Meilin? What's wrong with her?" Sakura turned to her friend, her voice serious. Meilin gave her a steady look and sighed.

"Well, I guess it can't be helped. Listen to me closely Sakura, cuz I'm not gonna repeat myself." Sakura nodded, telling her to continue. "Tomoyo…is a substance addict. She must not have taken her medicine today. Just don't tell her I told you ok? She doesn't want people to know. Especially you." With that Meilin walked further down the hall to her room. "Go to bed Sakura, and stop smiling would you?"

Sakura's eyes widened as she realized she was still smiling. Casting her eyes down and covering her mouth with her hand, she heard Meilin close her door. Walking down the hall to her room Sakura stepped inside. Looking around Sakura thought back to earlier. Tomoyo had been looking for something. Something she didn't want Sakura to see. _'She must have been looking for her medicine. God I am so stupid.'_ Stepping over the piles on the floor, she walked over to her bed. Leaning her head against the wall, her auburn hair fell over her face.

Her eyes shifted to her backpack that was lying on the bed next to her. Opening it, she took out the book. Running a finger along the spine, she threw the book across the room. It smashed into a lamp, instantly shattering the glass, but Sakura ignored it. Looking back into her backpack, she saw the paper she had started her poem on. Taking it out, she tore it in half. Flipping her notebook open, she got to a new piece of paper and began to write.

In the dark, in a room that felt both alone and Closter phobic Sakura looked up from her finished paper, her eyes landing on the book lying on the ground. Walking barefoot through the glass, she picked it up, ignoring the stinging of glass piercing her skin.

Fairy Tales, she realized, were just stories parents told their children to make them sleep at night. Falling to the ground, her back resting against the cold wall, she held the book close to her chest. A bitter laugh escaped her as tears streamed down her porcelain cheeks.

"Of course they're not real. Only idiots would believe that they're going to be saved from this hell hole of a world." Tears still falling from her eyes, Sakura fell to sleep, thinking to herself how much of an idiot she truly is.

Fairy Tales are just stories. Just stories of magical places with lots of happy people. But, there's another side that no one seems to think about. The side of the story that no one seems to care about. The part that talks about all the other people. What happens to them? When the dragon attacks the village to kill the princess, and the prince slays it, they end up getting married. But, what about all the damaged homes and people who were killed? What happened to them? If life is a fairy tale. I'd be one of those forgotten people. I'd be the one standing in the back of the crowd, watching as they drove away in their white carriage. I'd be the one to never get a happy ending and forced to watch their happily ever after. But, like I said, they're just stories.

* * *

AN: Sorry if that ending thing sucked. the story just kinda went into a fairy tale theme and to be honest i dont know much about them...NEways. hoped you liked this last chapter. review please! 


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Next chapter out. And the poem in here is **NOT** mine. All I did was change about four words so it applied to her. I saw it on the internet somewhere and thought it went good with the story.

Thanks to all my reviewers. and to Star02: No, actually I've never studied human Psychology. but i am really interested in it. that's one of the reasons I decided to write this story. But it's cool that you study it. Maybe you could give me some ideas for future chapters.

Ok. hope you all enjoy this.

* * *

Everything was quiet. The early morning sun just barely pierced through the windows, illuminating the wide hallway. Deep green eyes lingered on the white door that was firmly shut just a few feet ahead.

Sakura had been standing here, in front of the hospital wing, for the last half hour. She had woken up that morning and after pulling the glass that she had left embedded in her feet, come here.

She wanted to see Tomoyo, but she also didn't. What if she remembered how she had laughed at her? What if she remembered how she had smiled at her pain? What if she knew how twisted of a person Sakura really was?

Nodding her head in determination, she went to pull the door open, only to find it locked. Sighing in defeat she went to turn away when a voice stopped her.

"You going in or what?" Meilin gave her a curious look. Sakura looked at the ground, not wanting to meet her eyes.

"I can't. It's locked." She sounded defeated. Meilin simply walked past her and took out a key.

"Where'd you get that?" She asked. Meilin walked into the room and turned down the right side hallway. Jumping over the nurses' desk she looked through some files to find Tomoyo's room.

"I, uh, borrowed it. From one of the doctors yesterday." Sakura didn't quite believe that but decided it was better not to argue. Finding the room Meilin led them down a hallway and stopped at a room near the end.

Both walked inside, careful not to make any noise. Tomoyo's sleeping form lay listlessly on the bed. Her long silken hair clashed harshly with her sickly pale face. Her body already looked frail and skinny, even though she had only been in here for one night.

"Hey, Moyo. It's Mei and Saku. We're just here to see how you're doing." Meilin moved forward, standing near the end of the bed. She took out a flower from her bag and put it in the empty vase.

The amber eyed girl continued to talk as Sakura stood in the doorway. Her sight traveled from the thin IV in her friend's arm, to her ghostly appearance, and the irregular rising and falling of her chest.

Sakura had never seen someone else sick before. She had been hospitalized and hurt plenty of times, but that's completely different. The most hurt she's ever seen anyone was when her brother broke his leg in a soccer game. Seeing Tomoyo like this, it was kind of scary.

But she still couldn't stop the sickening pleasure that ran through her. It was like a disease. It always came back at the worse times.

"Sakura, I'm heading off to class. You should probably leave soon too." She only nodded as Meilin brushed by her. Taking the now vacant seat she gazed over at the sleeping girl.

"Hey, Tomoyo, I cleaned up the room for you. Well, not really. It's just all shoved in one corner. And look, I'm even wearing pink. You said I looked good in pink remember? You said it made me look more like a girl." There was no reply, but then again, she hadn't been expecting one. Averting her eyes she choked a little on the words in her mouth. "I'm really sorry, Moyo. I'm so sorry."

And with that she left. Her face void of emotion and her stride steady. She didn't want to cry. She hated it when she cried. It was always just such a pain to deal with.

She entered the class just before the teacher did, taking her seat beside her smiling friend. The classes passed by without her notice. Rika and Naoko had tried asked her where she was for breakfast, but she didn't hear them. Finally, Eriol managed to catch her attention.

"Sakura. Are you ok? You've been out of it all day." He asked. His words were filled with concern, but only the words. His voice and face betrayed the meaning of the words completely.

"Of course I'm ok. Why wouldn't I be?" She responded, trying to focus on the teacher up front.

"Well, I've been trying to talk to you all day and you just completely ignored me." He pointed out.

"Oh, sorry Eriol. Guess I was just distracted." She gave him a weak smile as the teacher rose from his seat and walked to the front of the class. She hadn't noticed earlier but it was their last class, English, and there was only about ten minutes left.

"Ok, class. Did everyone do the homework?" The balding man asked. No one answered him and chose to instead stare purposefully away. "Come on, anyone? No one? Seriously?" He didn't sound very surprised as he gave off a sigh. "No one did the homework?"

Blinking, Sakura raised her hand. "Yes, miss Kinomoto. What is it?" He asked exasperatedly.

"I did the homework." He blinked in surprise as she pulled the paper out of her bag.

"Really? That's great. Why don't you come up and read it to the class?" His cheerfulness didn't affect the weirdly stoic girl as she walked to the front. Holding the paper she looked out at her classmates.

Her eyes caught for a moment on a pair of amber eyes looking intently up at her. Rather uncaringly, she flicked back to her paper and read the lines in a clear and emotionless voice.

My name is Sakura

I am but three,

Me eyes are swollen

I cannot see,

I must be stupid

I must be bad,

What else could have made

My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better

I wish I weren't ugly,

Then maybe my mommy

Would still want to hug me

I can't speak at all

I can't do a wrong

Or else I'm locked up

All day long

When I awake I'm all alone

The house is dark

My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll get just

One beating tonight

Don't make a sound!

I just heard a car

My daddy is back

From Charlie's Bar.

I hear his curse

My name he calls

I press myself

Against the wall.

I try and hide

From his evil eyes

I'm so afraid now

I'm desperate not to cry.

He finds me weeping

He shouts ugly words,

He says it's my fault

That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me

And yells at me more,

I finally get free

And I run for the door.

He's already locked it

And I begin to bawl,

He takes me and throws me

Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor

With my bones nearly broken,

And my daddy continues

With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!" I scream

But it's now much too late

His face has been twisted

Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain

Again and again

Oh please God, have mercy!

Oh please, let it end!

And finally he stops

And heads for the door,

While I lay there motionless

Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sakura

And I am but three,

Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me

The whole class sat silent as she finished. The words were spoken evenly, with no extra emotion. She acted so calm, and spoke with a smile. The bell rang as she handed the paper to her teacher.

Walking over to her desk she began to put her things away. Two girls walked in front of her, both slightly nervous.

"Umm…Saku?" Naoko looked up at her, a little unsure. "Are you ok?"

"You seem…how can I say it…" Rika trailed off, uncertain how to finish.

"Different?" Her sister offered. Rika only nodded.

"I'm fine guys. You go ahead to lunch." She gave them a smile that rivaled even Eriols. Smiling back they said goodbye and ran out the door.

"Sakura, why are you smiling like that? It's obvious that you're not happy." Eriol walked beside her, handing her, her copy of peter pan.

"That's ironic coming from you." She quipped taking it from him.

"What do you mean?" She looked up at him with a questioning expression. She was about to answer when another person cut her off.

"She's talking about that stupid grin of yours." Sakura looked behind her to find the boy who had been identified as Shaoran. His messy hair fell into his face as he leaned casually against her desk. His eyes moved down to Sakura and lingered for a moment before returning to Eriol.

"What stupid grin?" Eriol asked. He was however, still smiling.

"Whatever man, I'm hungry. Let's go to lunch. Hey new girl, wanna join us?" He gave her a cocky smirk that most girls would die for. Sakura looked to Eriol who nodded his approval and shrugged.

"I'd like that, and my name's Sakura." She informed. Pulling her bag over he shoulder she looked the chocolate haired boy in the eyes, making sure he remembered it.

"Right. And I'm Shaoran Li. It is a pleasure to meet you." He gave her a theatrical bow before standing back up. "Now let's go." Eriol walked to the door and Sakura followed only to be pulled back by Li.

"Hey, new girl, try not to mention the fact that he smiles ok? He kind of doesn't know." Shaoran whispered in her ear as they kept a short distance from Eriol.

"What do you mean he doesn't know?" She whispered back. The boys amber eyes flicked to the dark haired boy before landing back on her.

"I mean he's unaware of it." He stated, talking in a more normal voice. Sighing, Sakura gave up. He was obviously dodging the question but if he didn't want to tell she certainly wasn't going to force him to. "So…new girl. That poem was interesting. Let me guess. You are here because you're an abuse victim."

"Yes and no." She answered, walking faster to catch up to her friend.

"Ok, I'll take that as a yes. Beat by your boyfriend?" He inquired, quickening his pace to keep up with her.

"No." She was only a step away from Eriol.

"Got a boyfriend?" She paused for a second and looked at him before continuing her walk.

"No…" She had finally caught up to Eriol and stood at his side. Shaoran came up on her other side and leaned down to her ear.

"Good." His hand reached out and pushed open a door revealing a large garden area. She followed them to a tree where two other boys were already standing. "Hey guys, what's up."

One with short black hair looked up, his black eyes closing as he smiled. He was holding a lighter in his hand and a slightly smoking twig in another. The other boy, who had been staring intently down at the lighter also looked at their approaching friends. His dark red hair was spiked up and his orange eyes danced with energy.

"Hey Shaoran. Didn't know you were back." Said the black haired boy. Shaoran rolled his eyes before plopping down in the shade.

"Liar. You saw me yesterday." The other nodded in recognition. Eriol lead Sakura over to the group and pulled her in front of the boys.

"This is Sakura." He informed, placing his hands on her shoulders. They focused on her, sizing her up. "This is Yamazaki Takashi," He motioned to the black haired boy. "And Amorai Ryo."

Ryo walked up to her and leaned over, inspecting her face. He suddenly broke into a smile and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "I like her. She can stay."

"Yeah, like it needed your approval." Muttered Shaoran. Ryo sent him a dirty look before dragging her to the tree and sitting her next to him.

"So, Sakura. How do you know Eriol and Shaoran over there?" He asked.

"I met Eriol my first day here and I don't know Shaoran." She answered in a sweet tone. Ryo laughed a little while Shaoran just scowled. Turning her head she looked up at Takashi. "Hey, Yamazaki-san, do you know Chiharu?"

"Oh, you mean his girlfriend." Taunted Ryo, leaning back against the tree.

"Really? His girlfriend?" Asked Sakura. Ryo nodded with a grin on his face.

"Ryo, did you know that thousands of years ago, men searched for years for the perfect girl? It was said that if you found your soul mate for your first girlfriend, you'd be granted any wish you wanted by the goddess of love." Takashi told his story as he sat beside Sakura. Her eyes widened as she contemplated what he said.

"Dude, shut up. Your stories are just too weird." Shaoran scoffed. Ryo chuckled beside her.

"Well I like that idea. Too bad my first wasn't the right one." The red head sighed a little as he shifted.

"How many have you had, Amorai-san?" She asked politely. Looking at her out of the corner of his eye, he scrunched his face in thought.

"Don't know. All that really matters is who my next is." He leaned in and whispered the last part in her ear. A light blush painted her cheeks as she turned away to hide it. He cupped her chin in his hand and turned her back to face him. "And call me Ryo. After all, we are friends."

She nodded dumbly, looking down. The rest of lunched passed by as they talked and ate. Ryo wouldn't let Sakura be apart from him for more than ten seconds and Takashi continued to tell them all useless facts. Eriol sat quietly and watched the scene just smiling while Shaoran lay on the grass occasionally adding to the conversation.

After a while Sakura saw the time and announced that she had to leave. After a prolonged goodbye from Ryo and a wave from the others she left.

Ryos golden eyes turned to the brunette on the grass. "Hey, Shaoran. Not that I'm complaining, but why'd you bring her with you? You're not normally one for new people."

"She interests me." He answered, standing up.

"Really? Shaoran Li, interested in a girl?" Ryo asked, laughing to himself. "And just when I was beginning to think you were gay." Shaoran shot him a glare but said nothing.

"I think Sakura is cute." Eriol added in, smiling up at his friends.

"Hear that? Sounds like you've got competition Li." Ryo smirked. "I happen to think she's cute too."

"I too want to be in this competition." Takashi said, raising his hand.

"No you don't." Answered both Ryo and Shaoran. He only gave a small chuckle and nodded his head in agreement.

Sakura walked down the hall and into the same room she had been in that morning. Tomoyo was still asleep in her bed, but some color had come back to her. Taking the seat next to the bed she opened her bag and took out Peter Pan.

"Hey Tomoyo. Since you're in here and the room is kinda lonely without you, I thought I'd come and read to you. How does that sound?" She was met with silence but took it as an ok.

Nodding her head she opened the book and began to read. Her voice was soothing and she spoke softly like she was reading a bedtime story. She read until her eyes became heavy and the nurses had all left. Marking the page she closed the book.

"Goodnight, Tomoyo. I'll be back tomorrow." She whispered as she left the small hospital room.

Letting her bag drop to the ground she looked around her dark room. It felt weird not to have a bubbly face greet her. Shifting through a drawer in her desk she pulled out a pair of scissors and sat on the floor.

Flipping them open she ran the edge across her skin and watched as the blood pooled inside the cut. Closing the scissors she stuck the point inside the wound and twisted them down until they hit bone.

She didn't wince at the pain or shed a tear. She gladly accepted it with a smile. But this time it wasn't because she enjoyed the pain or because she liked the blood that dripped down her arm. She smiled because she knew that she deserved it. She smiled because things were starting to feel more normal. She was the one who was supposed to be in pain. And everyone else, they were supposed to force their pain and problems onto her.

But she had caused someone else pain. And that person would never hurt her in return. So she inflict the pain on herself that her friend never would, just to make things right. Just to make things normal.

Placing the scissors on the floor she got up and lay on her bed. She didn't bother to put a bandage over the cut and instead chose to let it stain the sheets. Her emerald eyes fluttered closed and she drifted off to sleep.

I try to take back the pain I cause others. I try to put it all on myself. It's hard, but I do it. I do it because it's the only thing I can do. I've never really been good at anything. I can't sing or draw. I suck at math and my writing skills are nonexistent. I'm clumsy and ill mannered. I never know what to do when people cry. So to make up for everything that I've done, to be of some use in this world, I try and take your pain away. I throw myself in the way and take every hit before you even see it. I'd take every harsh word that's said and bleed openly to show that I'm weak. I've hurt others with things that I've done. And now I'm paying for it. I'll take your pain and take it with a smile. I'm telling you that it's ok to hurt me. I'm saying that I understand. I'm here to take you pain away. Born in this pathetic existence, what else can I possibly do?

* * *

AN: Ok. make sure and review because I'm not updating until I get at least five for this chapter. I don't know why but this story is wierdly unpopular... 


End file.
